1
00:00:00,001 --> 00:00:01,110
Two Doors Down S7 Ep05

2
00:00:01,111 --> 00:00:04,443
Oh, hello.Hi, Beth.
Just to say that's us back.

3
00:00:04,444 --> 00:00:06,763
Thanks for keeping an eye on things
while we were away.

4
00:00:06,764 --> 00:00:08,483
That's no problem.
How was it?

5
00:00:08,484 --> 00:00:11,643
Oh, it was great, yeah. Wee bit of
a delay on the way back, but...

6
00:00:11,644 --> 00:00:14,323
That's us just in now.
We've no' been to our beds.

7
00:00:14,324 --> 00:00:17,643
The Vegas to Amsterdam was delayed,
so we missed our connection.

8
00:00:17,644 --> 00:00:19,363
Oh, that's a shame.

9
00:00:19,364 --> 00:00:21,843
But you had a good time?
It was brilliant, yeah.

10
00:00:21,844 --> 00:00:24,283
It's like nowhere else we've ever
been. What was it like, Alan?

11
00:00:24,284 --> 00:00:26,363
Food everywhere.

12
00:00:26,364 --> 00:00:27,523
Right.

13
00:00:27,524 --> 00:00:28,843
I'm
glad you enjoyed it.

14
00:00:28,844 --> 00:00:30,723
We
did, it was great.

15
00:00:30,724 --> 00:00:34,483
We've actually got a wee bit
of news, as well, Beth.

16
00:00:34,484 --> 00:00:36,203
Oh! Oh, my goodness.

17
00:00:36,204 --> 00:00:37,803
You got married?

18
00:00:37,804 --> 00:00:39,443
Congratulations!

19
00:00:39,444 --> 00:00:41,603
Aw,
you must be over the moon!

20
00:00:41,604 --> 00:00:43,363
I am.
I can't believe it.

21
00:00:43,364 --> 00:00:45,683
And what about you, Alan?
How are you feeling?

22
00:00:45,684 --> 00:00:47,003
You
must be delighted.

23
00:00:47,004 --> 00:00:47,003
ALAN YAWNS

24
00:00:47,004 --> 00:00:48,923
Eh?

25
00:00:48,924 --> 00:00:51,203
Oh, aye, sorry.
Aye, I am. I'm...

26
00:00:51,204 --> 00:00:53,424
I'm made up.

27
00:01:06,185 --> 00:01:11,843
Oh, it's
great news! It really is.

28
00:01:11,844 --> 00:01:14,604
Oh, thanks, Eric.

29
00:01:11,844 --> 00:01:14,603
ERIC CHUCKLES

30
00:01:14,604 --> 00:01:16,603
So, you won't have seen
your mum yet?

31
00:01:16,604 --> 00:01:18,243
No, but
I spoke to her on the phone.

32
00:01:18,244 --> 00:01:19,883
She's thrilled to bits.
Ah.

33
00:01:19,884 --> 00:01:22,163
It's really nice. We're going to go
and see her this afternoon.

34
00:01:22,164 --> 00:01:24,723
And what about you, Alan?
Your mum will be happy, too.

35
00:01:24,724 --> 00:01:27,083
I've
not actually told her yet.

36
00:01:27,084 --> 00:01:29,643
You were texting her from the
airport, were you not?

37
00:01:29,644 --> 00:01:32,323
Aye, that was just to tell her
I couldnae get her fags.

38
00:01:32,324 --> 00:01:34,163
It is
such great news, Michelle.

39
00:01:34,164 --> 00:01:36,483
You must be dying to leteveryone
know.I am.

40
00:01:36,484 --> 00:01:38,803
I'm going to go through all the
pictures the photographer sent,

41
00:01:38,804 --> 00:01:40,763
and then I'll do a big
poston Facebook.

42
00:01:40,764 --> 00:01:44,043
Oh, that's a good idea. Save you
having to do a big phone round.

43
00:01:44,044 --> 00:01:46,323
That's what my pal Davey did
when he was selling his Subaru.

44
00:01:46,324 --> 00:01:47,483
Oh...

45
00:01:47,484 --> 00:01:50,083
Michelle, would you mind if I let
Christine and Cathy know?

46
00:01:50,084 --> 00:01:52,403
They'll be thrilled.
Oh...

47
00:01:52,404 --> 00:01:55,763
Oh, yeah, go on. We'll probably
run into them anyway.

48
00:01:55,764 --> 00:01:58,403
Come in and sit a wee
minute,come on.

49
00:01:58,404 --> 00:02:01,283
Er, Beth, could you say
to Ian,as well?

50
00:02:01,284 --> 00:02:04,323
Him and me have just been doing
so much chatting about weddings.

51
00:02:04,324 --> 00:02:07,283
So, was this a spur-of-the-
momentthing, or...?

52
00:02:07,284 --> 00:02:09,123
No, I
planned it all before we went.

53
00:02:09,124 --> 00:02:10,443
And did you know?
No.

54
00:02:10,444 --> 00:02:12,523
I didn't know anything about it
until the night before.

55
00:02:12,524 --> 00:02:14,683
You did
well keeping it a secret.

56
00:02:14,684 --> 00:02:16,803
I wasnae gonnae tell her till
the actual morning,

57
00:02:16,804 --> 00:02:18,803
but I knew she'd want to shave
her legs and stuff.

58
00:02:18,804 --> 00:02:20,163
PHONE CHIMES

59
00:02:20,164 --> 00:02:22,123
Oh, that's Christine saying
she's going to pop in.

60
00:02:22,124 --> 00:02:23,203
Aww...

61
00:02:23,204 --> 00:02:25,283
QUIETLY:I thought
you said we wereonly coming to tell Beth

62
00:02:25,284 --> 00:02:26,723
because
she'd taken our bins in.

63
00:02:26,724 --> 00:02:28,963
Yeah, but we'll need to wait till
Christine comes in now.

64
00:02:28,964 --> 00:02:30,683
OK?
Oh, for fuck...

65
00:02:30,684 --> 00:02:33,523
Uh... Michelle was saying
they missed their connection

66
00:02:33,524 --> 00:02:35,683
on the way back.
Oh, no.

67
00:02:35,684 --> 00:02:38,563
Spent the night in Schiphol, then we
got the first flight in the morning.

68
00:02:38,564 --> 00:02:40,603
Oh, bloody hell.
Did you get some sleep?

69
00:02:40,604 --> 00:02:42,723
Naw. I've been awake for
nearly20 hours.

70
00:02:42,724 --> 00:02:44,923
Oh, my goodness.
Did you not get any on the plane?

71
00:02:44,924 --> 00:02:46,003
Nah.

72
00:02:46,004 --> 00:02:47,963
They had all the Kung
Fu Pandas,Beth.

73
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KNOCK AT DOOR

74
00:02:49,604 --> 00:02:52,243
Well, you'd have had a wee bit of
time to kill in Amsterdam, then.

75
00:02:52,244 --> 00:02:53,763
Aye,
a wee bit, Eric.

76
00:02:53,764 --> 00:02:55,803
I thought I found a bit of hash
underneath my seat,

77
00:02:55,804 --> 00:02:58,323
but it was just a bit of clingfilm
off a sandwich or something.

78
00:02:58,324 --> 00:03:01,163
It gave us a chance to do a wee bit
of last-minute shopping, Eric.

79
00:03:01,164 --> 00:03:03,243
Aye, I
got two litres of Grey Goose

80
00:03:03,244 --> 00:03:05,243
and an ice-cube tray in the
shapeof wee tits.

81
00:03:05,244 --> 00:03:06,643
DOOR SHUTS

82
00:03:06,644 --> 00:03:07,883
Oh.

83
00:03:07,884 --> 00:03:10,843
Here
they are, Mr and Mrs Edgar.

84
00:03:10,844 --> 00:03:12,723
Oh, hi, Christine.

85
00:03:12,724 --> 00:03:15,683
Right,
come on, let's have a look.

86
00:03:15,684 --> 00:03:17,203
Oh, yes.

87
00:03:17,204 --> 00:03:19,163
He's
not made a fool of you, hen.

88
00:03:19,164 --> 00:03:20,843
That
is lovely, Alan.

89
00:03:20,844 --> 00:03:22,523
Did
you get that in Vegas?

90
00:03:22,524 --> 00:03:24,443
Naw.
H Samuel's in Braehead.

91
00:03:24,444 --> 00:03:26,883
Oh,
that's a nice branch, that.

92
00:03:26,884 --> 00:03:30,043
They helped to remove Irene's
ankle bracelet.

93
00:03:30,044 --> 00:03:33,163
So,
you kept this a secret, eh?

94
00:03:33,164 --> 00:03:35,683
CHRISTINE LAUGHS
color="

95
00:03:35,684 --> 00:03:37,643
No, I didn't know anything
about it.

96
00:03:37,644 --> 00:03:39,563
I thought we were just
goingon holiday.

97
00:03:39,564 --> 00:03:41,203
I booked
it all before we went.

98
00:03:41,204 --> 00:03:43,083
So,
where did you have it?

99
00:03:43,084 --> 00:03:45,683
The Paradise Wedding Chapel,
Vegas.

100
00:03:45,684 --> 00:03:47,923
Oh,
that sounds lovely.

101
00:03:47,924 --> 00:03:50,523
It was like something out
of a film,honestly.

102
00:03:50,524 --> 00:03:52,363
Ah, he's an old romantic underneath
it all, eh?

103
00:03:52,364 --> 00:03:53,563
Aw...

104
00:03:53,564 --> 00:03:54,843
How
did you find that one, Alan?

105
00:03:54,844 --> 00:03:56,883
Saw it
advertised during the boxing.

106
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ALAN YAWNS

107
00:03:58,804 --> 00:04:00,163
Sorry.

108
00:04:00,164 --> 00:04:01,883
Can I get you a coffee,
or something?

109
00:04:01,884 --> 00:04:03,843
Aye, on you go, Beth.
That might keep me going.

110
00:04:03,844 --> 00:04:05,363
What's this?

111
00:04:05,364 --> 00:04:06,723
Oh, they
missed their connection.

112
00:04:06,724 --> 00:04:08,403
Had to spend the night in
Amsterdam airport.

113
00:04:08,404 --> 00:04:09,523
Oh, no.

114
00:04:09,524 --> 00:04:12,443
I've been awake for nearly 20 hours.
I'm absolutely shattered.

115
00:04:12,444 --> 00:04:15,203
Have you had a chance to change
your underwear, though?

116
00:04:15,204 --> 00:04:18,323
I always think that makes
youfeel fresher.

117
00:04:18,324 --> 00:04:21,443
No, we just came straight here,
didn't we?Yeah.

118
00:04:21,444 --> 00:04:23,443
Just black, Alan?
Cheers.

119
00:04:23,444 --> 00:04:25,123
I'll
take one as well, Beth.

120
00:04:25,124 --> 00:04:27,523
And
put milk in mine, will you?

121
00:04:27,524 --> 00:04:31,363
I find that black coffee's quite
harsh on my stomach, Michelle,

122
00:04:31,364 --> 00:04:33,563
not
to mention the pan.

123
00:04:33,564 --> 00:04:35,323
Can
I get you something to eat?

124
00:04:35,324 --> 00:04:37,803
No, I'm all right, actually. They
gave us vouchers in the airport,

125
00:04:37,804 --> 00:04:39,363
so I had something there.
Right.

126
00:04:39,364 --> 00:04:41,163
Ah, good they gave you
vouchers, eh?Mm.

127
00:04:41,164 --> 00:04:43,003
At least you're getting something
to keep you going.

128
00:04:43,004 --> 00:04:46,283
Yeah, I had a smoothie and Alan had
a slice of pizza and two Heineken.

129
00:04:46,284 --> 00:04:48,803
So, how
are you doing, Christine?

130
00:04:48,804 --> 00:04:50,763
Aye,
I'm good, Michelle.

131
00:04:50,764 --> 00:04:52,523
I've
got quite a lot going on.

132
00:04:52,524 --> 00:04:56,043
Did I tell you I've got a newpriest?
No, I don't think you did.

133
00:04:56,044 --> 00:04:58,483
Where's
Father De Marco gone?

134
00:04:58,484 --> 00:05:02,043
He's taking some time out for
some quiet reflection

135
00:05:02,044 --> 00:05:04,444
over in Panama.

136
00:05:04,445 --> 00:05:07,403
So,
who have you got now?

137
00:05:07,404 --> 00:05:09,243
Father Kowalski.

138
00:05:09,244 --> 00:05:12,363
Oh,
he is a breath of fresh air!

139
00:05:12,364 --> 00:05:13,883
Such
a spiritual man.

140
00:05:13,884 --> 00:05:17,923
Always up at the hospital,
does three masses on a Sunday,

141
00:05:17,924 --> 00:05:20,683
and he's plastered the ceiling
in the side hall.

142
00:05:20,684 --> 00:05:22,924
ALAN YAWNS

143
00:05:22,925 --> 00:05:26,843
Sorry. I'll be all right once
I get this coffee into me.

144
00:05:26,844 --> 00:05:30,363
I remember I had quite a delay
coming back from Jersey, Alan.

145
00:05:30,364 --> 00:05:32,003
How long was that?

146
00:05:32,004 --> 00:05:36,003
Oh, it was only 40 minutes, but it
meant that I missed Emmerdale.

147
00:05:36,004 --> 00:05:37,603
There you go.

148
00:05:37,604 --> 00:05:40,123
Oh...
Cheers.

149
00:05:40,124 --> 00:05:42,323
Bless you, Beth.
Bless you.

150
00:05:42,324 --> 00:05:44,363
So, did
you say you'd got photos?

151
00:05:44,364 --> 00:05:47,323
Oh, yeah. The chapel had their
own photographer.

152
00:05:47,324 --> 00:05:49,843
He sent them all over on email,
but we've just not had a chance

153
00:05:49,844 --> 00:05:51,483
to properly
go through them yet.

154
00:05:51,484 --> 00:05:53,443
Oh, well, that's something
to look forward to.

155
00:05:53,444 --> 00:05:54,843
Aye...

156
00:05:54,844 --> 00:05:57,283
So, it was just the two
of you,no family?

157
00:05:57,284 --> 00:06:00,363
Just us. But we're going to have a
big party for friends and family,

158
00:06:00,364 --> 00:06:02,043
seeing
as we didn't get a reception.

159
00:06:02,044 --> 00:06:03,123
Ah.

160
00:06:03,124 --> 00:06:05,363
So, what did you do on your
wedding night, then?

161
00:06:05,364 --> 00:06:07,803
Out for a steak,
then we went to see the tigers.

162
00:06:07,804 --> 00:06:09,083
Oh.

163
00:06:09,084 --> 00:06:10,563
It was
a lovely meal, actually.

164
00:06:10,564 --> 00:06:12,883
They made a real fuss of us,
didn't they?Oh, aye.

165
00:06:12,884 --> 00:06:14,643
The
bread just kept coming.

166
00:06:14,644 --> 00:06:14,643
DOORBELL RINGS

167
00:06:14,644 --> 00:06:16,684
I'll go.

168
00:06:18,284 --> 00:06:24,354
See they tigers, Alan,
do you think they're drugged?

169
00:06:24,355 --> 00:06:26,643
Hey!
Hi, Eric.

170
00:06:26,644 --> 00:06:28,043
Oh, is that for me?

171
00:06:28,044 --> 00:06:29,643
Thanks very much!

172
00:06:29,644 --> 00:06:29,643
ERIC GUFFAWS

173
00:06:29,644 --> 00:06:31,444
No.

174
00:06:31,445 --> 00:06:33,883
ERIC GROANS

175
00:06:33,884 --> 00:06:35,083
Cheers.

176
00:06:35,084 --> 00:06:36,523
ALAN YAWNS

177
00:06:36,524 --> 00:06:38,683
Hey, hey, hey!

178
00:06:38,684 --> 00:06:41,843
Here
they are, the newlyweds!

179
00:06:41,844 --> 00:06:43,883
What
about this, then?

180
00:06:43,884 --> 00:06:46,123
This
is big news, eh?

181
00:06:46,124 --> 00:06:48,483
Well, I've actually not told
anyone apart from you lot yet,

182
00:06:48,484 --> 00:06:49,843
so
don't say to anyone.

183
00:06:49,844 --> 00:06:51,403
Don't
worry, Michelle.

184
00:06:51,404 --> 00:06:54,003
Nobody I know would give
a shit anyway.

185
00:06:54,004 --> 00:06:57,043
Was it a spur-of-the-moment
thing, was it?

186
00:06:57,044 --> 00:06:59,443
Did you have a wee win at the
puggysand just think,

187
00:06:59,444 --> 00:07:02,323
"I wonder what we could
dofor a laugh"?

188
00:07:02,324 --> 00:07:03,443
No!

189
00:07:03,444 --> 00:07:04,883
Alan
arranged it all.

190
00:07:04,884 --> 00:07:08,483
Aye. You've got to book it all in
advance and fill a form out online,

191
00:07:08,484 --> 00:07:11,163
apply
for a licence, reserve a slot.

192
00:07:11,164 --> 00:07:13,443
Quite
a wee bit to it, then, Alan?

193
00:07:13,444 --> 00:07:14,563
Aye.

194
00:07:14,564 --> 00:07:18,563
No' as bad as my HGV renewal,
but no' far off it.

195
00:07:18,564 --> 00:07:21,003
Well, we brought a wee
bottleof bubbly.

196
00:07:21,004 --> 00:07:22,603
It's
not too early, is it?

197
00:07:22,604 --> 00:07:24,843
Och, no, no. We're a wee bit
all over the place.

198
00:07:24,844 --> 00:07:26,683
I've
been awake for 20 hours.

199
00:07:26,684 --> 00:07:29,923
So, you've just been at it nonstop,
the pair of you, have you?

200
00:07:29,924 --> 00:07:33,643
We missed our connection, so we had
to wait in Amsterdam overnight.

201
00:07:33,644 --> 00:07:35,683
Oh, right...

202
00:07:35,684 --> 00:07:38,043
Right,
I'll go and get some glasses.

203
00:07:38,044 --> 00:07:39,563
Oh,
do you want help, Beth?

204
00:07:39,564 --> 00:07:40,883
Uh...

205
00:07:40,884 --> 00:07:44,203
Actually, erm, that'd be good.
Thanks, Cathy.

206
00:07:44,204 --> 00:07:46,124
Oh, f...

207
00:07:49,645 --> 00:07:54,923
Have you
ever been to Vegas, Beth?

208
00:07:54,924 --> 00:07:57,403
No, we've
not, but I'd love to go.

209
00:07:57,404 --> 00:07:59,003
The
hotels are amazing.

210
00:07:59,004 --> 00:08:01,443
We stayed in the one with
the fountains.

211
00:08:01,444 --> 00:08:04,723
Even the bidet had three
speedson it.

212
00:08:04,724 --> 00:08:08,043
What do you think we should do
about a present for them?

213
00:08:08,044 --> 00:08:10,323
Do you think maybe something
for the house?

214
00:08:10,324 --> 00:08:12,243
Yeah.

215
00:08:12,244 --> 00:08:15,283
Get her something from that.
..that Dunelm Mill.

216
00:08:15,284 --> 00:08:18,723
She loves all that shit.
Hmm...

217
00:08:18,724 --> 00:08:23,243
Do you want to try and think of
something a bit more personal?

218
00:08:23,244 --> 00:08:25,224
A pen?

219
00:08:25,225 --> 00:08:29,163
So what's it like, then? Is it
just like a proper church?

220
00:08:29,164 --> 00:08:31,843
Aye.
Smaller. Flat roof.

221
00:08:31,844 --> 00:08:33,603
It's got
pews and an organ, though.

222
00:08:33,604 --> 00:08:35,243
You
know, like a crematorium?

223
00:08:35,244 --> 00:08:37,043
Ah, I get you.

224
00:08:37,044 --> 00:08:39,123
What
about the service?

225
00:08:39,124 --> 00:08:40,683
Oh, that
was really good, actually.

226
00:08:40,684 --> 00:08:42,843
They tailored it individually
towards each couple.

227
00:08:42,844 --> 00:08:45,003
Aye, once they found out
we were Scottish,

228
00:08:45,004 --> 00:08:47,923
they
put the Proclaimers on.

229
00:08:47,924 --> 00:08:49,603
How
much they charge, Al?

230
00:08:49,604 --> 00:08:51,843
$250,
plus tourist tax.

231
00:08:51,844 --> 00:08:53,723
Oh,
here, that's not bad.

232
00:08:53,724 --> 00:08:55,963
Plus,
I got the ring in a sale.

233
00:08:55,964 --> 00:08:57,923
Right,
have I got enough glasses?

234
00:08:57,924 --> 00:09:00,083
Yes.
Just get it open.

235
00:09:00,084 --> 00:09:02,123
CORK POPS

236
00:09:02,124 --> 00:09:04,843
That's so kind of you.
Gosh, look at us!

237
00:09:04,844 --> 00:09:08,043
It's quite early in the day
to be drinking, isn't it?

238
00:09:08,044 --> 00:09:11,363
Here, Cath, what was that place
we stayed in when we were there?

239
00:09:11,364 --> 00:09:13,363
Bellagio.

240
00:09:13,364 --> 00:09:15,003
That's it.

241
00:09:15,004 --> 00:09:17,083
The
hotels are amazing.

242
00:09:17,084 --> 00:09:21,363
The Bellagio,
Caesars Palace, Luxor.

243
00:09:21,364 --> 00:09:23,563
Here,
where did you guys stay?

244
00:09:23,564 --> 00:09:25,123
It
was a Best Western.

245
00:09:25,124 --> 00:09:27,284
Oh, right.

246
00:09:28,204 --> 00:09:30,883
Well, here's to you.

247
00:09:30,884 --> 00:09:32,803
Congratulations
to the two of you.

248
00:09:32,804 --> 00:09:34,844
Cheers.

249
00:09:34,845 --> 00:09:38,243
Cheers.

250
00:09:38,244 --> 00:09:41,484
Oh, let's
get a look at the ring!

251
00:09:41,485 --> 00:09:44,643
Oh, that is nice.

252
00:09:44,644 --> 00:09:46,403
That
really suits you.

253
00:09:46,404 --> 00:09:48,203
Aw.
color="

254
00:09:48,204 --> 00:09:49,803
Uh-huh.

255
00:09:49,804 --> 00:09:53,323
I tell you what, Michelle,
see if you have a sudden weight gain

256
00:09:53,324 --> 00:09:56,323
and that gets too tight,
you get back into that branch

257
00:09:56,324 --> 00:09:58,363
and they'll have it off you.
..SHE CLICKS FINGERS

258
00:09:58,364 --> 00:10:00,203
...no problem.

259
00:10:00,204 --> 00:10:02,243
So, what did you do on
the night itself?

260
00:10:02,244 --> 00:10:04,003
Did you...
Did you hit the town?

261
00:10:04,004 --> 00:10:06,803
Well, Alan had booked a really
beautiful restaurant, hadn't you?

262
00:10:06,804 --> 00:10:08,003
Aye.

263
00:10:08,004 --> 00:10:10,963
Honestly, the fillet steak,
I've never tasted anything like it.

264
00:10:10,964 --> 00:10:14,563
And the staff were so nice,
they just made such a fuss of us.

265
00:10:14,564 --> 00:10:17,323
Then we got picked up by a limousine
and it drove us through

266
00:10:17,324 --> 00:10:19,323
all the streets,
past all the lights,

267
00:10:19,324 --> 00:10:20,843
then
it dropped us at the show.

268
00:10:20,844 --> 00:10:22,963
Straight
in, front-row seats.

269
00:10:22,964 --> 00:10:28,923
Honestly, the whole night was
like a dream, wasn't it, Alan?

270
00:10:28,924 --> 00:10:30,963
ALAN SNORES

271
00:10:30,964 --> 00:10:32,944
Alan?

272
00:10:32,945 --> 00:10:37,883
I tell
you where did a good burger.

273
00:10:37,884 --> 00:10:40,283
Wimpy.
Remember Wimpy?

274
00:10:40,284 --> 00:10:42,403
Oh,
I liked the Wimpy.

275
00:10:42,404 --> 00:10:45,203
I used
to take Sophie in there.

276
00:10:45,204 --> 00:10:48,603
Two cheeseburgers,
two large chips,

277
00:10:48,604 --> 00:10:50,843
two
strawberry milkshakes,

278
00:10:50,844 --> 00:10:52,563
and
while she was eating that,

279
00:10:52,564 --> 00:10:55,043
I would go for a walk round
Littlewoods.

280
00:10:55,044 --> 00:10:58,163
The portion sizes are enormous
over in the States.

281
00:10:58,164 --> 00:10:59,803
They are, Eric.

282
00:10:59,804 --> 00:11:01,443
I fuckin' loved it.

283
00:11:01,444 --> 00:11:02,603
Oh.

284
00:11:02,604 --> 00:11:05,163
Remember that bagel I
hadin New York?

285
00:11:05,164 --> 00:11:06,843
The pastrami bagel?

286
00:11:06,844 --> 00:11:10,003
Oh, I
loved watching him eat that.

287
00:11:10,004 --> 00:11:14,363
He had his mouth open as wide
as it would possibly go, Beth.

288
00:11:14,364 --> 00:11:16,763
That
was in that Katz's Deli.

289
00:11:16,764 --> 00:11:18,483
Oh,
When Harry Met Sally...

290
00:11:18,484 --> 00:11:19,803
That's the one.

291
00:11:19,804 --> 00:11:21,363
Oh,
that's a great film.

292
00:11:21,364 --> 00:11:22,963
Have I seen that?

293
00:11:22,964 --> 00:11:25,643
It's the one where she fakes
an orgasm in the restaurant.

294
00:11:25,644 --> 00:11:28,363
Could she no' just have left a
tip,like everybody else?

295
00:11:28,364 --> 00:11:30,723
And then
we went up to Tiffany's.

296
00:11:30,724 --> 00:11:32,243
Do
you remember that?

297
00:11:32,244 --> 00:11:35,003
Aye, it wasn't an orgasm I had in
there, it was a heart attack.

298
00:11:35,004 --> 00:11:36,723
THEY LAUGH

299
00:11:36,724 --> 00:11:39,323
Breakfast At Tiffany's -
that's another great one.

300
00:11:39,324 --> 00:11:43,243
Ah, see, a good breakfast,
that would get me going.

301
00:11:43,244 --> 00:11:46,603
I'd love to go to New York.
Maybe that's next on the list.

302
00:11:46,604 --> 00:11:47,843
Aye.

303
00:11:47,844 --> 00:11:50,203
Pat's son went there,
and he says there were folks

304
00:11:50,204 --> 00:11:53,723
spitting off the top of
the Empire State Building.

305
00:11:53,724 --> 00:11:56,283
Would you go back to Vegas,
Michelle?

306
00:11:56,284 --> 00:11:58,923
Yeah. I don't know, it feels like
there was so much more to it

307
00:11:58,924 --> 00:12:00,683
that
we didn't get to see.

308
00:12:00,684 --> 00:12:03,723
Oh, well, I mean,
there is the other side to it.

309
00:12:03,724 --> 00:12:05,883
They don't call it Sin
Cityfor nothing.

310
00:12:05,884 --> 00:12:08,403
We saw
prostitutes in a Starbucks.

311
00:12:08,404 --> 00:12:11,843
Aye, getting a wee coffee,
keep them going.

312
00:12:11,844 --> 00:12:14,043
I met
two in the hotel we were in.

313
00:12:14,044 --> 00:12:16,043
What?
Aye.

314
00:12:16,044 --> 00:12:18,083
I met
a couple of them in the hotel.

315
00:12:18,084 --> 00:12:19,963
Where was I?

316
00:12:19,964 --> 00:12:22,563
Well, see the night you went
to your bed early?

317
00:12:22,564 --> 00:12:24,443
Mm-hm.
I was still wide awake,

318
00:12:24,444 --> 00:12:26,523
so I just got up and went
for a walk.

319
00:12:26,524 --> 00:12:28,403
How much were they wanting
off you, Alan?

320
00:12:28,404 --> 00:12:30,883
You went for a walk during the night
and met two prostitutes?

321
00:12:30,884 --> 00:12:32,163
Aye.

322
00:12:32,164 --> 00:12:34,523
They were in the reception
talking to the wee porter guy.

323
00:12:34,524 --> 00:12:36,003
They were nice.

324
00:12:36,004 --> 00:12:40,563
It was them that told me about
the bus to the airport.

325
00:12:40,564 --> 00:12:42,203
I
can't believe this.

326
00:12:42,204 --> 00:12:45,763
See, they know all they timetables
inside out.

327
00:12:45,764 --> 00:12:47,403
They do.

328
00:12:47,404 --> 00:12:50,123
I've even seen them help folk
off with their cases.

329
00:12:50,124 --> 00:12:52,104
Mm-hm.

330
00:12:52,105 --> 00:12:55,363
ALAN SCOFFS

331
00:12:55,364 --> 00:12:56,683
Nothing happened.

332
00:12:56,684 --> 00:12:56,683
Mm-hm.

333
00:12:56,684 --> 00:12:58,203
DOORBELL RINGS

334
00:12:58,204 --> 00:13:03,243
Oh. That'll be Ian and Gordon.
I'll get it.

335
00:13:03,244 --> 00:13:05,323
Hiya, Mum.
Hiya, Mrs Baird.

336
00:13:05,324 --> 00:13:07,563
Oh,
look, they are lovely.

337
00:13:07,564 --> 00:13:10,283
I was just saying to Cathy we're
going to have to think of something

338
00:13:10,284 --> 00:13:11,803
to
give them as a present.

339
00:13:11,804 --> 00:13:14,483
They had
some bird tables on offer.

340
00:13:14,484 --> 00:13:17,314
I'll
add it to the list.

341
00:13:18,165 --> 00:13:23,763
Hi.
color="

342
00:13:23,764 --> 00:13:25,243
Oh, hi, Ian!

343
00:13:25,244 --> 00:13:29,683
Congratulations.
Aw, thanks.

344
00:13:29,684 --> 00:13:32,323
Aww!

345
00:13:32,324 --> 00:13:33,963
Are they for me?

346
00:13:33,964 --> 00:13:35,123
Duh.

347
00:13:35,124 --> 00:13:36,723
Aww! Alan?

348
00:13:36,724 --> 00:13:38,403
Congratulations,
Alan.

349
00:13:38,404 --> 00:13:39,923
ALAN:
Cheers.

350
00:13:39,924 --> 00:13:42,123
Congratulations, Alan.
Are we having a hug?

351
00:13:42,124 --> 00:13:45,004
No,
we're not, that's OK.

352
00:13:45,005 --> 00:13:47,403
I'll
take a hug, Gordon.

353
00:13:47,404 --> 00:13:48,803
Right...

354
00:13:48,804 --> 00:13:51,363
There, you see. Oh!

355
00:13:51,364 --> 00:13:55,003
That
felt nice, didn't it, huh?

356
00:13:55,004 --> 00:13:57,563
So, you kept this quiet.
When did you get back?

357
00:13:57,564 --> 00:13:58,923
Just this morning.

358
00:13:58,924 --> 00:14:01,723
Was it amazing?
It was, it was brilliant.

359
00:14:01,724 --> 00:14:05,003
They
did it for $250, Gordon.

360
00:14:05,004 --> 00:14:07,163
Was
that including your steaks?

361
00:14:07,164 --> 00:14:08,963
We've
been hearing all about it.

362
00:14:08,964 --> 00:14:11,483
Las Vegas, Ian.
Aye, I know!

363
00:14:11,484 --> 00:14:14,043
Alan was with two prostitutes,
Gordon.

364
00:14:14,044 --> 00:14:18,003
Och, that's just the sort of thing
that happens in Las Vegas.

365
00:14:18,004 --> 00:14:21,083
Hey, what happens in Vegas
stays in Vegas.

366
00:14:21,084 --> 00:14:23,244
Eh, Alan?

367
00:14:23,245 --> 00:14:28,123
I
was only talking to them.

368
00:14:28,124 --> 00:14:30,763
So,
where did you have it, then?

369
00:14:30,764 --> 00:14:33,003
The
Paradise Wedding Chapel.

370
00:14:33,004 --> 00:14:35,403
Oh, that
sounds proper Vegas, that.

371
00:14:35,404 --> 00:14:37,923
They said it's a bit like
a crematorium.

372
00:14:37,924 --> 00:14:39,923
You didn't do the old Elvis
thing,then?

373
00:14:39,924 --> 00:14:41,243
Eh, no.

374
00:14:41,244 --> 00:14:42,723
We saw
a couple doing that, though.

375
00:14:42,724 --> 00:14:45,003
Getting it done by a guy
dressed as Elvis.

376
00:14:45,004 --> 00:14:47,483
Well, that's a classic
Vegas wedding, that.

377
00:14:47,484 --> 00:14:50,083
There's another place in America
we've been to.

378
00:14:50,084 --> 00:14:52,203
We've been to Graceland,
haven't we, Cath?

379
00:14:52,204 --> 00:14:53,963
We have, yes.

380
00:14:53,964 --> 00:14:57,963
I've got a picture of Colin
on the toilet where he died.

381
00:14:57,964 --> 00:15:00,243
Is
it plumbed in, Colin?

382
00:15:00,244 --> 00:15:03,243
Or
was it purely decorative?

383
00:15:03,244 --> 00:15:04,963
MICHELLE:
 So, what about you guys?

384
00:15:04,964 --> 00:15:06,923
What's the latest thoughts
on your wedding?

385
00:15:06,924 --> 00:15:09,043
Oh, we keep going round in
circles,don't we?

386
00:15:09,044 --> 00:15:12,523
Yeah, we looked at Loch Lomond,
but then we went off that.

387
00:15:12,524 --> 00:15:15,963
Then we, uh, looked at renting
a big house in Wales.

388
00:15:15,964 --> 00:15:17,483
Wales?

389
00:15:17,484 --> 00:15:19,083
Oh, God! Beth!

390
00:15:19,084 --> 00:15:20,923
What?The other
thing is findinga celebrant.

391
00:15:20,924 --> 00:15:22,843
They're all mad busy.
Hmm.

392
00:15:22,844 --> 00:15:24,803
Father
Kowalski might do it for you.

393
00:15:24,804 --> 00:15:27,024
Oh, right?

394
00:15:27,025 --> 00:15:30,323
Well, not on church premises,
obviously.

395
00:15:30,324 --> 00:15:33,763
And not on a Saturday -
that's his day for tiling.

396
00:15:33,764 --> 00:15:37,683
We're not really up for a
church ceremony, to be honest.

397
00:15:37,684 --> 00:15:43,003
I don't know why people don't seem
to want a traditional wedding,

398
00:15:43,004 --> 00:15:45,923
conducted
by a man of the cloth

399
00:15:45,924 --> 00:15:48,363
followed
by a reception in a hotel

400
00:15:48,364 --> 00:15:51,123
with a
purpose-built function suite.

401
00:15:51,124 --> 00:15:53,003
That's
what my brother did.

402
00:15:53,004 --> 00:15:54,483
Well, that's right.

403
00:15:54,484 --> 00:15:57,003
Good for them.
color="

404
00:15:57,004 --> 00:16:00,803
They're separated,
and she's just been sectioned.

405
00:16:00,804 --> 00:16:03,163
Well, you could always do what
we did and go away somewhere.

406
00:16:03,164 --> 00:16:05,003
Well,
maybe that's an idea, aye.

407
00:16:05,004 --> 00:16:06,963
Cheap
flights to Poland just now.

408
00:16:06,964 --> 00:16:09,203
You are
not going away somewhere.

409
00:16:09,204 --> 00:16:11,563
Your
dad and I want to be there.

410
00:16:11,564 --> 00:16:13,563
That's a point -
have you told your mum?

411
00:16:13,564 --> 00:16:15,043
Yeah,
we've told her.

412
00:16:15,044 --> 00:16:17,283
I mean, she was a wee bit
disappointed she didn't get

413
00:16:17,284 --> 00:16:19,003
to
be there, but she's OK.

414
00:16:19,004 --> 00:16:20,763
What about
all your mates and stuff?

415
00:16:20,764 --> 00:16:22,123
I've
not told them yet.

416
00:16:22,124 --> 00:16:24,643
I'm going to get one of our photos
and do a big post on Facebook,

417
00:16:24,644 --> 00:16:27,403
going, "Look what we did
on holiday."

418
00:16:27,404 --> 00:16:29,043
THEY LAUGH

419
00:16:29,044 --> 00:16:30,803
They're all going to go
mad,aren't they?

420
00:16:30,804 --> 00:16:33,323
When Andy Watt posted that video
of him in the sand buggy,

421
00:16:33,324 --> 00:16:36,124
it got 346 likes.

422
00:16:36,125 --> 00:16:40,163
So, we're going to have
a big party as well.

423
00:16:40,164 --> 00:16:42,323
Oh, that'll be brilliant.
Count us in!

424
00:16:42,324 --> 00:16:45,003
Here, the pair of you want
a wee glass of fizz?

425
00:16:45,004 --> 00:16:47,003
Aye, go on, why not?
I'll get it.

426
00:16:47,004 --> 00:16:49,083
Gosh, it's very early to be
drinking, isn't it?

427
00:16:49,084 --> 00:16:50,963
Yeah,
it's brilliant.

428
00:16:50,964 --> 00:16:52,323
Aww...!

429
00:16:52,324 --> 00:16:53,763
Uh-oh.

430
00:16:53,764 --> 00:16:55,403
Look, it's fine,
I'm not that bothered.

431
00:16:55,404 --> 00:16:59,003
I AM bothered.
Colin, will you get another one?

432
00:16:59,004 --> 00:17:00,803
I've
been awake for 20 hours.

433
00:17:00,804 --> 00:17:02,603
Actually, 21 now.

434
00:17:02,604 --> 00:17:04,883
Yeah, listen, we should
probably just head back

435
00:17:04,884 --> 00:17:06,243
across
the road shortly.

436
00:17:06,244 --> 00:17:09,203
Shut up, Michelle.
We've got to celebrate.

437
00:17:09,204 --> 00:17:12,723
It's not every day you get married
and taken out for a steak.

438
00:17:12,724 --> 00:17:15,083
Two
ticks, I'll no' be long.

439
00:17:15,084 --> 00:17:17,304
ALAN SIGHS

440
00:17:17,305 --> 00:17:20,963
HORN BEEPS

441
00:17:20,964 --> 00:17:22,603
All righty.

442
00:17:22,604 --> 00:17:24,843
Fuckin' tit.

443
00:17:24,844 --> 00:17:27,363
So, what sort of thing are you
thinking about for your party, then?

444
00:17:27,364 --> 00:17:29,523
We're thinking about making
itblack tie and gowns,

445
00:17:29,524 --> 00:17:30,843
so we
can all get really glammed up.

446
00:17:30,844 --> 00:17:32,163
Ooh!

447
00:17:32,164 --> 00:17:34,203
CATHY:Oh, don't worry, Beth.
I'll help you.

448
00:17:34,204 --> 00:17:36,563
I'll be able to wear one
ofmy bowties.

449
00:17:36,564 --> 00:17:38,043
Uh-huh.

450
00:17:38,044 --> 00:17:40,483
Oh, it'll be great to have
all your friends and family

451
00:17:40,484 --> 00:17:42,123
together
in one place.

452
00:17:42,124 --> 00:17:44,763
I know, I can't wait.
It's going to be amazing.

453
00:17:44,764 --> 00:17:47,403
I might
go off the shoulder, Beth.

454
00:17:47,404 --> 00:17:50,963
But I'll have my body-warmer on
standby in case there's a draught.

455
00:17:50,964 --> 00:17:53,043
So, when are you thinking
of having it?

456
00:17:53,044 --> 00:17:55,603
Oh, it's looking like probably
the first weekend in July.

457
00:17:55,604 --> 00:17:57,763
The Saturday?
Yeah.

458
00:17:57,764 --> 00:18:00,203
Isn't that...?
Oh, no!

459
00:18:00,204 --> 00:18:01,803
We're away.

460
00:18:01,804 --> 00:18:03,723
That's the weekend we're
in Barcelona.

461
00:18:03,724 --> 00:18:05,603
Oh,
no, you're joking?

462
00:18:05,604 --> 00:18:08,203
Oh, a lot of people will say
they're busy, Michelle.

463
00:18:08,204 --> 00:18:10,283
Oh,
we're really sorry.

464
00:18:10,284 --> 00:18:13,243
Uh... No, it's fine. We'll just
have a wee look at the dates

465
00:18:13,244 --> 00:18:14,683
and
we'll see if we can move it.

466
00:18:14,684 --> 00:18:16,924
DOOR SHUTS

467
00:18:14,684 --> 00:18:16,923
Hey...!

468
00:18:16,924 --> 00:18:18,403
Oh, my God!

469
00:18:18,404 --> 00:18:20,323
AS ELVIS: Ah, thank you!
Thank you very much.

470
00:18:20,324 --> 00:18:21,643
THEY LAUGH

471
00:18:21,644 --> 00:18:23,243
Oh, my God!

472
00:18:23,244 --> 00:18:25,443
REGULAR
VOICE: Viva Las Vegas, baby!

473
00:18:25,444 --> 00:18:26,923
Where'd
you get that?

474
00:18:26,924 --> 00:18:29,483
Oh, for a Halloween party
a few years back.

475
00:18:29,484 --> 00:18:31,203
What
do you reckon, eh?

476
00:18:31,204 --> 00:18:33,283
Oh, Col, give me a shot,
give me a shot.

477
00:18:33,284 --> 00:18:34,723
All
right, there you go.

478
00:18:34,724 --> 00:18:36,683
THEY LAUGH

479
00:18:36,684 --> 00:18:39,443

a little more action, please...

480
00:18:39,444 --> 00:18:41,363
Brilliant!

481
00:18:41,364 --> 00:18:45,203
BOTH:
aggravationain't satisfactioning me...

482
00:18:45,204 --> 00:18:46,523
Take
a picture, take a picture!

483
00:18:46,524 --> 00:18:48,163
Aye, there we go.

484
00:18:48,164 --> 00:18:50,083
Right.
That looks brilliant!

485
00:18:50,084 --> 00:18:51,643
Hey!

486
00:18:51,644 --> 00:18:53,203
Look at that.
color="

487
00:18:53,204 --> 00:18:55,203
Michelle, Michelle, come on,
let's get one with you.

488
00:18:55,204 --> 00:18:58,043
Come on, Michelle.
No, I don't... Cathy, please.

489
00:18:58,044 --> 00:18:59,603
That's you.

490
00:18:59,604 --> 00:19:01,963
Get these on.
Oh? Oh.

491
00:19:01,964 --> 00:19:03,723
Right, that's us.

492
00:19:03,724 --> 00:19:05,684
Hey!

493
00:19:05,685 --> 00:19:05,683
PHONE CAMERA CLICKS

494
00:19:05,684 --> 00:19:07,243
Oh, brilliant.

495
00:19:07,244 --> 00:19:09,083
Oh, get the wig, get the wig.
Oh, right, OK.

496
00:19:09,084 --> 00:19:10,923
Oh, no, no, no, honestly.
Oh, yeah, come on.

497
00:19:10,924 --> 00:19:12,603
Michelle,
you've been in Vegas!

498
00:19:12,604 --> 00:19:14,403
Come on.

499
00:19:14,404 --> 00:19:16,744
THEY CHUCKLE

500
00:19:16,745 --> 00:19:18,923
Woohoo!

501
00:19:18,924 --> 00:19:21,443
I feel stupid.
Well, you look brilliant.

502
00:19:21,444 --> 00:19:23,763
Wait while
I take a picture of this.

503
00:19:23,764 --> 00:19:25,323
Come on, Alan, now you.
Get up.

504
00:19:25,324 --> 00:19:26,803
ALAN:
Naw.

505
00:19:26,804 --> 00:19:28,883
Come
on, you big dozy baby.

506
00:19:28,884 --> 00:19:30,403
Newlyweds.

507
00:19:30,404 --> 00:19:32,163
Right, you!
Get in there.

508
00:19:32,164 --> 00:19:33,643
Come on, now.
Say cheese.

509
00:19:33,644 --> 00:19:34,923
FLATLY:
color="

510
00:19:34,924 --> 00:19:36,283
Come on, you can do better
than that.

511
00:19:36,284 --> 00:19:37,643
I'm
fuckin' knackered.

512
00:19:37,644 --> 00:19:39,163
Right, come on.
Are you ready?

513
00:19:39,164 --> 00:19:40,963
Cheese.
That's it!

514
00:19:40,964 --> 00:19:42,643
What about one with the
ring,as well?

515
00:19:42,644 --> 00:19:43,923
Oh, yes.
color="

516
00:19:43,924 --> 00:19:46,243
I'd quite like a picture
of this,as well.

517
00:19:46,244 --> 00:19:48,043
COLIN:
Alan, take her hand.

518
00:19:48,044 --> 00:19:49,403
That's you.

519
00:19:49,404 --> 00:19:51,243
Long live Las Vegas!

520
00:19:51,244 --> 00:19:53,163
BOTH:
color="

521
00:19:53,164 --> 00:19:54,523
There
you go, brilliant.

522
00:19:54,524 --> 00:19:56,363
Aw, that's nice.

523
00:19:56,364 --> 00:19:58,443
It's a shame that we don't
havea wee jumpsuit

524
00:19:58,444 --> 00:20:00,083
for
you, as well, Michelle.

525
00:20:00,084 --> 00:20:01,763
Oh,
no, I think this is enough.

526
00:20:01,764 --> 00:20:03,843
Right,
let's get this open.

527
00:20:03,844 --> 00:20:05,403
You
guys haven't got drinks.

528
00:20:05,404 --> 00:20:06,603
Beth?

529
00:20:06,604 --> 00:20:07,883
BETH: What?

530
00:20:07,884 --> 00:20:07,883
BOTTLE CLINKS

531
00:20:07,884 --> 00:20:09,323
Glasses?

532
00:20:09,324 --> 00:20:11,683
Oh, right, yes.

533
00:20:11,684 --> 00:20:16,603
Eric, open this.
These acrylics are fresh on.

534
00:20:16,604 --> 00:20:17,963
ALAN ASIDE:
Jesus Christ...

535
00:20:17,964 --> 00:20:20,043
I know. We'll get away
after this one.

536
00:20:20,044 --> 00:20:21,563
CORK POPS

537
00:20:21,564 --> 00:20:23,003
ALL CHEER

538
00:20:23,004 --> 00:20:25,363
Just as
well it's not all shook up!

539
00:20:25,364 --> 00:20:27,163
ALL LAUGH

540
00:20:27,164 --> 00:20:29,763
Don't
try to be funny, please, Eric.

541
00:20:29,764 --> 00:20:31,203
Yeah...

542
00:20:31,204 --> 00:20:34,363
There we go.
Ta.

543
00:20:34,364 --> 00:20:37,784
Here,
get some for me, Beth, thanks.

544
00:20:37,785 --> 00:20:39,763
All right?
Thank you, Dad.

545
00:20:39,764 --> 00:20:40,923
Smashing.

546
00:20:40,924 --> 00:20:42,323
Not
too much for Christine.

547
00:20:42,324 --> 00:20:44,664
Thanks, Beth.

548
00:20:44,665 --> 00:20:47,083
Right... Mm-hm.

549
00:20:47,084 --> 00:20:49,163
Well,
here's to you, all the best.

550
00:20:49,164 --> 00:20:50,523
Aw!Cheers.
All the best to you.

551
00:20:50,524 --> 00:20:52,723
All the best.
color="

552
00:20:52,724 --> 00:20:54,283
Thanks, everyone.

553
00:20:54,284 --> 00:20:55,763
BETH:
Congratulations.

554
00:20:55,764 --> 00:20:57,363
Mm.

555
00:20:57,364 --> 00:20:58,683
Oh, yeah.

556
00:20:58,684 --> 00:21:01,483
So, did you tell them on the plane
that you were newlyweds?

557
00:21:01,484 --> 00:21:03,763
Naw.
color="

558
00:21:03,764 --> 00:21:06,563
I told the crew of the SeaCat
that it was my birthday

559
00:21:06,564 --> 00:21:09,563
and I got a free bowl of soup
and a tour of the bridge.

560
00:21:09,564 --> 00:21:11,003
Ooh.

561
00:21:11,004 --> 00:21:13,403
So, did they give you vows
or did you write your own?

562
00:21:13,404 --> 00:21:16,003
Well, I thought about writing
our own, but when we saw

563
00:21:16,004 --> 00:21:18,163
the ones they had,
they were actually really nice,

564
00:21:18,164 --> 00:21:20,203
so
we just used them.

565
00:21:20,204 --> 00:21:23,024
Do
you remember, Alan?

566
00:21:23,025 --> 00:21:24,603
Uh...

567
00:21:24,604 --> 00:21:27,003
Do you...?
Aye...

568
00:21:27,004 --> 00:21:29,563
Do you, Alan Edgar,

569
00:21:29,564 --> 00:21:31,523
take
Michelle Anne Young...

570
00:21:31,524 --> 00:21:33,283
Take this woman.
What?

571
00:21:33,284 --> 00:21:35,363
Take this woman,
Michelle Anne Young.

572
00:21:35,364 --> 00:21:36,763
Oh,
shit, that's right.

573
00:21:36,764 --> 00:21:40,043
Do you, Alan Edgar,
take this woman,

574
00:21:40,044 --> 00:21:43,683
Michelle Anne Young,
to have and to...

575
00:21:43,684 --> 00:21:44,723
Naw.

576
00:21:44,724 --> 00:21:46,243
To
love and to cherish.

577
00:21:46,244 --> 00:21:47,763
To
love and to cherish.

578
00:21:47,764 --> 00:21:50,043
..
.to love and to cherish,

579
00:21:50,044 --> 00:21:52,603
to
have and to hold...

580
00:21:52,604 --> 00:21:53,803
..for ever?

581
00:21:53,804 --> 00:21:56,003
From this day.
Oh, from this day!

582
00:21:56,004 --> 00:21:58,203
Fuck's
sake, I'm so fuckin' tired.

583
00:21:58,204 --> 00:22:00,643
...to have and to hold for
ever and ever,

584
00:22:00,644 --> 00:22:03,003
from this day forward,
till death us do part.

585
00:22:03,004 --> 00:22:04,323
Bang, ring on.

586
00:22:04,324 --> 00:22:07,003
OTHERS CHEER

587
00:22:07,004 --> 00:22:07,003
PHONE CHIMES

588
00:22:07,004 --> 00:22:09,043
That you?

589
00:22:09,044 --> 00:22:11,763
Yeah,
I'll get it later.

590
00:22:11,764 --> 00:22:14,243
So,
what about your mum, Alan?

591
00:22:14,244 --> 00:22:15,483
PHONE CHIMES

592
00:22:15,484 --> 00:22:17,403
Oh.
Sorry, Beth. Excuse me.

593
00:22:17,404 --> 00:22:19,123
Wait till
I just pop this on silent.

594
00:22:19,124 --> 00:22:20,563
PHONE CHIMES

595
00:22:20,564 --> 00:22:21,963
Ooh,
somebody's popular!

596
00:22:21,964 --> 00:22:23,363
OTHERS CHUCKLE

597
00:22:23,364 --> 00:22:24,683
What?

598
00:22:24,684 --> 00:22:26,203
Uh...

599
00:22:26,204 --> 00:22:28,664
Hang on, hang on...

600
00:22:28,665 --> 00:22:30,043
What?!

601
00:22:30,044 --> 00:22:31,363
Everything
all right, Michelle?

602
00:22:31,364 --> 00:22:32,603
PHONE CHIMING

603
00:22:32,604 --> 00:22:34,083
That's weird.
What is it?

604
00:22:34,084 --> 00:22:36,163
I'm getting messages saying
congratulations.

605
00:22:36,164 --> 00:22:37,683
What?
Mm?

606
00:22:37,684 --> 00:22:39,523
PHONE CHIMES

607
00:22:39,524 --> 00:22:41,123
How do they know?

608
00:22:41,124 --> 00:22:42,643
I
haven't said anything.

609
00:22:42,644 --> 00:22:44,243
No, no.

610
00:22:44,244 --> 00:22:46,243
PHONE CHIMES

611
00:22:46,244 --> 00:22:48,404
Oh, my God.

612
00:22:48,405 --> 00:22:50,203
That picture...

613
00:22:50,204 --> 00:22:51,963
That
picture's on Facebook.

614
00:22:51,964 --> 00:22:54,083
What? The one that we
justtook there?

615
00:22:54,084 --> 00:22:54,083
Yes.

616
00:22:54,084 --> 00:22:55,563
PHONE CHIMES

617
00:22:55,564 --> 00:22:56,883
How's that happened?

618
00:22:56,884 --> 00:22:58,283
PHONE CHIMES

619
00:22:58,284 --> 00:22:59,443
MICHELLE EXHALES

620
00:22:59,444 --> 00:23:01,424
What?

621
00:23:04,825 --> 00:23:08,603
PHONE CHIMES

622
00:23:08,604 --> 00:23:11,723
Did you send that picture
to anyone,Christine?

623
00:23:11,724 --> 00:23:13,363
Just to Sophie.

624
00:23:13,364 --> 00:23:14,483
MICHELLE GROANS

625
00:23:14,484 --> 00:23:15,763
How is she?

626
00:23:15,764 --> 00:23:16,923
PHONE CHIMES

627
00:23:16,924 --> 00:23:18,643
Can
I see your phone a minute?

628
00:23:18,644 --> 00:23:20,444
Ha...

629
00:23:23,084 --> 00:23:25,484
PHONE CHIMING

630
00:23:25,485 --> 00:23:27,683
You've tagged her.

631
00:23:27,684 --> 00:23:29,243
I've what?

632
00:23:29,244 --> 00:23:31,523
You've posted it on Sophie's
timeline.

633
00:23:31,524 --> 00:23:33,203
How
have I done that?

634
00:23:33,204 --> 00:23:36,483
I don't know. But you thought you
were sending it just to her,

635
00:23:36,484 --> 00:23:38,923
but you've
posted it on her timeline

636
00:23:38,924 --> 00:23:40,603
and you've
tagged Michelle in it.

637
00:23:40,604 --> 00:23:42,243
PHONE CHIMES

638
00:23:42,244 --> 00:23:44,163
Mm-hm...

639
00:23:44,164 --> 00:23:46,504
PHONE CHIMES

640
00:23:46,505 --> 00:23:48,403
PHONE CHIMES

641
00:23:48,404 --> 00:23:50,603
All
my friends, all my family,

642
00:23:50,604 --> 00:23:52,243
everyone
on Facebook,

643
00:23:52,244 --> 00:23:54,563
they all know now, because they
see me in my wedding ring

644
00:23:54,564 --> 00:23:56,323
wearing
a fuckin' Elvis wig!

645
00:23:56,324 --> 00:23:58,363
Oh, Michelle.

646
00:23:58,364 --> 00:24:00,944
Oh, that's.
..a shame.

647
00:24:00,945 --> 00:24:06,563
I wanted to post one of the
onesthat we had done.

648
00:24:06,564 --> 00:24:08,424
Oh...!

649
00:24:09,524 --> 00:24:11,924
MICHELLE SOBS

650
00:24:13,964 --> 00:24:15,764
Oh...

651
00:24:17,764 --> 00:24:19,744
Right...

652
00:24:25,404 --> 00:24:27,444
It's OK.

653
00:24:28,564 --> 00:24:30,803
And listen...

654
00:24:30,804 --> 00:24:33,603
...folk will probably just
thinkyou're pished.

655
00:24:33,604 --> 00:24:36,244
Uh-huh.

656
00:24:33,604 --> 00:24:36,243
PHONE PINGS

657
00:24:36,244 --> 00:24:38,083
Aw...

658
00:24:38,084 --> 00:24:39,803
That's Sophie.

659
00:24:39,804 --> 00:24:42,043
She
says congratulations.

660
00:24:42,044 --> 00:24:43,643
Aw...

661
00:24:43,644 --> 00:24:47,403
And Madison's wet her
pantsin the car.

662
00:24:47,404 --> 00:24:49,523
Can
you take the picture down?

663
00:24:49,524 --> 00:24:52,284
What's
the point now?

664
00:24:52,285 --> 00:24:57,363
You could
put your own picture up?

665
00:24:57,364 --> 00:25:01,163
Yeah. Why don't you put one of your
own ones up on Facebook?

666
00:25:01,164 --> 00:25:02,843
And,
I will at some point.

667
00:25:02,844 --> 00:25:04,443
Why not do it now?

668
00:25:04,444 --> 00:25:06,643
That's what everybody
will wantto see.

669
00:25:06,644 --> 00:25:09,683
It's quite cool, doing a funny pic,
get them all talking,

670
00:25:09,684 --> 00:25:11,243
then
post the real thing.

671
00:25:11,244 --> 00:25:14,304
Oh,
well, that's a nice idea.

672
00:25:14,305 --> 00:25:17,763
And, all
my pictures are on my iPad.

673
00:25:17,764 --> 00:25:19,963
Alan,
away and get the iPad.

674
00:25:19,964 --> 00:25:22,483
We all want to see the pictures
anyway, don't we?

675
00:25:22,484 --> 00:25:24,283
Yeah.
color="

676
00:25:24,284 --> 00:25:25,723
Mm-hm.
Yeah?

677
00:25:25,724 --> 00:25:30,044
SIGHING:
Two ticks.

678
00:25:30,045 --> 00:25:32,523
Here.

679
00:25:32,524 --> 00:25:34,083
You
want a wee top-up?

680
00:25:34,084 --> 00:25:35,683
Yeah, OK.

681
00:25:35,684 --> 00:25:37,763
Aye,
that's the girl.

682
00:25:37,764 --> 00:25:41,194
Drinking
always helps, Michelle.

683
00:25:43,044 --> 00:25:45,324
Christine!

684
00:25:45,325 --> 00:25:48,363
Bloody Facebook, eh?

685
00:25:48,364 --> 00:25:49,963
You're
better off without it.

686
00:25:49,964 --> 00:25:51,203
Hmm.

687
00:25:51,204 --> 00:25:54,204
Look,
these things happen.

688
00:25:54,205 --> 00:25:59,243
So, did
that go to all your friends?

689
00:25:59,244 --> 00:26:00,483
Mm-hm.

690
00:26:00,484 --> 00:26:02,643
And all your family?

691
00:26:02,644 --> 00:26:04,564
Yeah.

692
00:26:04,565 --> 00:26:08,304
From
just that one picture?

693
00:26:08,305 --> 00:26:12,563
It's OK, Christine.

694
00:26:12,564 --> 00:26:17,043
No, it's just wee Kowalski
also does gardens,

695
00:26:17,044 --> 00:26:19,803
so that would be a good way
ofspreading the word.

696
00:26:19,804 --> 00:26:21,603
DOOR SHUTS

697
00:26:21,604 --> 00:26:23,003
Ah.

698
00:26:23,004 --> 00:26:25,123
COLIN:
Oh, here he is.

699
00:26:25,124 --> 00:26:30,474
Oh, right, let's get a
lookat them, eh?

700
00:26:31,324 --> 00:26:33,604
Right...

701
00:26:33,605 --> 00:26:33,603
MICHELLE LAUGHS

702
00:26:33,604 --> 00:26:34,923
Where are they?

703
00:26:34,924 --> 00:26:36,963
Uh...

704
00:26:36,964 --> 00:26:38,824
Erm...

705
00:26:38,825 --> 00:26:41,963
ALL EXCLAIM

706
00:26:41,964 --> 00:26:43,683
That's
us outside the chapel.

707
00:26:43,684 --> 00:26:45,403
Aw, look at that!

708
00:26:45,404 --> 00:26:48,323
That DOES look like a crematorium,
doesn't it?

709
00:26:48,324 --> 00:26:49,643
Mm-hm.

710
00:26:49,644 --> 00:26:51,443
Oh, and
that's us signing the book.

711
00:26:51,444 --> 00:26:56,554
Oh, look at you both
smiling there.

712
00:26:56,555 --> 00:26:59,363
Oh, and these are the ones
from the restaurant.

713
00:26:59,364 --> 00:27:00,683
Ooh.

714
00:27:00,684 --> 00:27:02,683
Oh, wow.
 Oh, aye.

715
00:27:02,684 --> 00:27:04,803
They're big steaks, them.
Ooft!

716
00:27:04,804 --> 00:27:06,563
ALAN:
Fuckin' massive.

717
00:27:06,564 --> 00:27:08,363
Oh, I like this one.

718
00:27:08,364 --> 00:27:10,083
Let's see.

719
00:27:10,084 --> 00:27:12,643
They made the whole place stop
and do a big toast to us.

720
00:27:12,644 --> 00:27:14,363
Aww.
 It was so nice.

721
00:27:14,364 --> 00:27:16,603
Aww...
You should post that one.

722
00:27:16,604 --> 00:27:17,843
Yeah?

723
00:27:17,844 --> 00:27:22,683
Yeah, you look so happy,
the two of you, in it.

724
00:27:22,684 --> 00:27:25,394
I'm
going to post it.

725
00:27:26,884 --> 00:27:29,044
Right. Erm...

726
00:27:29,964 --> 00:27:34,364
Elvis
has left the building now...

727
00:27:34,365 --> 00:27:38,403
.
..but look what we did

728
00:27:38,404 --> 00:27:41,003
while
we were in Vegas.

729
00:27:41,004 --> 00:27:45,443
Aw!
Oh, that's good, that's funny.

730
00:27:45,444 --> 00:27:47,203
OK...

731
00:27:47,204 --> 00:27:48,763
Erm...

732
00:27:48,764 --> 00:27:50,203
Post...

733
00:27:50,204 --> 00:27:50,203
SENT ALERT

734
00:27:50,204 --> 00:27:52,363
Done!

735
00:27:52,364 --> 00:27:54,963
Aw!
Hey!Great stuff.

736
00:27:54,964 --> 00:27:57,883
Listen, Michelle, we were thinking,
we wanted to get you something,

737
00:27:57,884 --> 00:27:59,483
you
know, as a wedding present.

738
00:27:59,484 --> 00:28:01,083
No,
you don't need to do that.

739
00:28:01,084 --> 00:28:02,483
OK, then.

740
00:28:02,484 --> 00:28:05,883
So, how about we get that picture
you've just posted

741
00:28:05,884 --> 00:28:07,923
blown
up and put in a nice frame

742
00:28:07,924 --> 00:28:10,363
and then you can hang it somewhere
in your house?

743
00:28:10,364 --> 00:28:12,083
That
would be so nice.

744
00:28:12,084 --> 00:28:14,163
We would absolutely love that,
wouldn't we, Alan?

745
00:28:14,164 --> 00:28:17,294
Oh, aye.
Let's get a look at it.

746
00:28:20,604 --> 00:28:22,923
Oh, no way.

747
00:28:22,924 --> 00:28:24,523
What?
Aye, it is...

748
00:28:24,524 --> 00:28:26,083
It IS them.

749
00:28:26,084 --> 00:28:27,283
Who?

750
00:28:27,284 --> 00:28:29,043
The two
hookers I was talking to.

751
00:28:29,044 --> 00:28:30,963
They're
standing right behind us.

752
00:28:30,964 --> 00:28:33,883
What
are the chances of that?

753
00:28:33,884 --> 00:28:35,363
MICHELLE WHIMPERS

754
00:28:35,364 --> 00:28:37,013
PHONE CHIMES

755
00:28:37,014 --> 00:28:41,564
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